José Saramago

Died. Yes, José Saramago just died. I know, right? Big SHOCK.

Anyway, I figured I'd spend just a little while talking about José Saramago, for the few yet adorable people who once in a while drop by and read this blog.

José Saramao was (it's so very strange to use the past tense) one of the most acclaimed portuguese authors. He was born in the country side, and while older moved to Lisbon. He worked as a translator and a journalist before he became a writer. In 1998, José Saramago was awarded with a Nobel Prize In Literature. He was a Communist and an atheist (what's not to like?).

Some of his most well-known books are Memorial do Convento (Baltasar and Blimunda - which is part of the mandatory plan of literature of the portuguese students), Ensaio Sobre a Cegueira (Essay Over Blindness - although wrongly traduced as just Blindness) and Caim (Cain - the story can be figured out by the title). He had a very curious way of writting (although I only read one of his books completely).

Let's remember him kindly and keep reading his work.

People From The Past

The other day I was coming out of the subway, on my way home, when I bumped into this guy I had a crush on when I was little. It was just one of those awkward moments. The guy used to go to my school, and he was a true asshole (the crush thing was waaaay back). He was one of these popular kids who wore huge baggy jeans and an overly big har. When I saw he looked much older and had shaved his head (it did not look sexy on him), and because I wasn't sure it was him, just stopped at the entrace (blocking everyone) for the longest five seconds in history. And the worse thing: because I was blocking the entrance (or maybe he recognised me, no idea, I have no intention of ever speaking to him again) he was staring right back at me for the whole time.
>.<'

Would you live forever?

Personally, I wouldn't. And leaving aside the obvious hipothetical concearn of watching all your loved ones die, and even not dying, losing quality of life. Just imagine to live FOREVER. That's an awfully long ammount of time. Sure, the first hundreds of years there would be so much to know, so many places to see. But eventually, you'd get tired. And you'd be done. You would have seen everything, and would be tired of it. And more, when someone we love dies, or even as we get older, we often wonder what could have been. And most people regard it as something negative, all things we didn't do. But it also represents all the things we still have to do, all the experiences we have to live. In time, that will end. There would be, eventually, a point where we'd realize we had nothing more to offer, and we were done. That's so terribly frightening, to be worn out. Nothing further to add to the world.
Eternity sounds like an awful punishment. If offered, I'd probably decline it. But again, who to offer such a meanful gift?

Eternal life?

I don't believe it. I think we are born, live, and when we die, we die as a whole, body and soul. No heaven, no purgatory, no reincarnation. And even if I am wrong, this is all we have proofs for.
I have heard many people say "But if we were just born to die, then life has no meaning.". Is it really what you believe? That because life enventually ends, it is meaningless? That must be so sad.
But what if we went to heaven when we died or whatever? What meaning would it add? Following that logic (of track of though, since there isn't any logic in it) our soul wouldn't die, but our life would be over anyway, righ?
We have many years of life, we can't be sure of the rest. Even if you want to believe it so badly, you can't be sure. I intend to make the best out of my years. Eventually dying doesn't make me, or anyone, meaningless. Wating for death does. It's up to us to make our life meaningfull, to be remembered for the ones who live on

Now I have a question:
Would you live forever, if you could?

Christmas

I like Christmas. Every year my family get together to celebrate it, we dine and watch films and at midnight we gather around a tree and give each other gifs. It's really cute.
Anyway, I got a food poisoning a couple of days ago and couldn't get out of the house the whole day. It sucked!
It annoys me how people run to shops, buying all kinds of crap. Stupid consuminst society. Don't they see it's more valuable if you spend time with your loved ones insted of in malls buying crap? Oh well. And tomorrow, everyone will be running to the mall to exchange the gifs. After tomorrw, it's because of the sales. Seriously!
I hope you all had a nice Christmas and had the luck to share it with your family and loved ones.

Selected?

This morning I was walking around the school with a friend, chatting and stuff, when this girl comes to me. I'd seen her before, we have english classes in the same place. "Aren't you going to take your picture?" she said. And I was like "what are you talking about?".
My school, every year makes this thing where we vote for people for stuff like the cuttest, the sweetest and stuff like that. They expose this paper with 4 candidates and there is this social event where I don't really know what happens because I never gave a shit about stuff like this. I mean, come on. I've always been shy, and I never really cared about popular people's stuff and social events where you dress up and dance and what so ever (well, I don't dance, but you know what I mean).
So anyway, the girl came and told me I had been voted for one of the most originals. I was like "you're kidding right?". Those people hate me! They made my life hell. They know who I am because they bully me for my clothes. They definitely don't like me, and have set that pretty clear. (I'm talking general, there's very nice people <3).
I'm pretty much in shock. I appreciate it though, it was nice for people to vote in me. And I guess I'll have to be at the social event too... damn, all those people... Big gatherings of people really scare me, I've never done this kind of things... Plus if I win (which I won't, but if I do) I'll have to do a thanking. Getting scarier by the second.
I hope it goes okay.
Maybe when I finish higschool I'll be prom queen hahahah XD. Gosh, I hope not, that would be much more frightening...

Does God Love You?

Today I went to mass (even though I'm not religious), in the memory of this man I knew.
Anyway, the preast read this story from the bible, saying all people would be invited to "a feast of rich food for all peoples" once they died. You know, that eternity stuff they keep talking about, but never actually being able to proove? If they have so much nice stuff to give to the nice faithfull believers, why not give it to them in life? Oh well, anyway.
And I thought the passage was so full of love *bitter irony* I just had to blog it: "Moad, the rebel, however, will be trampled under him, as straw is trampled down in the manure." Isn't it just lovely?
They keep talking about their wonderful religion, the power of love, blah blah blah.
But what do we see?
Pre-marital sex? - you're going to hell!
Gay? - you're going to hell!
Use condoms? - going to hell!
Not a believer? - HELL!
And I've been told it's all about loving your neighbout and respecting the others...

Being yourselfe

That's so true.

Once you found out who you want to be, you just stop caring about people who mock you, because you don't need no one's approval despite your own.

I used to care a lot about what people thought about me. Then I started being made fun because of my clothes, and you know what?

I just stopped caring about what everyone else thought. I was just being me. You can't please everyone, so why not please yourselfe? There are others who like you the way you are.

And then I wasn't afraid anymore, to embrace my own personality and ideals. You know what, motherfuckers? You guys made me grow a stronger, more self confident person. I guess things don't always turn up the way you expected.

Helpless

Something is really wrong with me. Why can't i just be normal? Happy? Like any other person.

Maybe it's not that easy for them either, but still...

Oh, i hate it, I hate all of this.

What's wrong with me?